please take me back to school, bill

When they speak, you listen. Or try hard not to listen. Either way, you end up hearing what they have to say, whether you like it or not. And they have a lot to say. And you'd better listen. Because what they say may well determine the entire course of your life from now until your little Web-surfing fingers can click no more. In fact, these guys have the power, through their words alone, to make or break any weblog they choose. Why do they have this power?
Because each of these weblogs, in their own right, is the...

BIG WO/MAN ON CAMPUS  
camworld

Well, you don't get much bigger than CamWorld. Or Cameron Barrett, for that matter. On a scale ranging from a pea to the giant ball of twine, Cameron is a supernova. And like every supernova, he burns; burns for the day that all Web designers may live in copyright peace and harmony.

For Cameron is a passionate man when it comes to the Web. If you cross him he'll set his organised crime ring of designers upon you. 'Coz Cameron is set to be the first Web Developer Union leader. He will bring the World Wide Web to a standstill and e-commerce to it's knees if he doesn't get his way. He is the force of righteousness and all that is good. And don't you fucking forget it.

eatonweb

Brigitte Eaton helped build the web community with her now-interstellar eatonweb blog-portal. There was a time that, if you weren't on the portal, you weren't a weblog. Currently there are more portals than you can poke a dead dog at, but Brigitte hasn't lost that sense of being the blog-queen; a great, multi-tentacled, flightless cyborg that mesmerises a weblog with its antennae before sucking the life-force from it.

Brigitte Eaton has built more sites than was once thought humanly possible; which lends credence to the theory that she is the blog-queen. Her eternal history with weblogging has also gifted her with wisdom beyond the ken of mortal man. She understands that the weblog world is just like high-school. And she knows that's all you need to know.

peterme

Peter Merholz is the "me" in "peterme". And the "pin" in "epinions". And the "hot" in "hotdamn". Peter has made the decision "to pronounce the word "weblog" as wee'- blog". Which sounds like something you'd take to a urologist. He also boasts to have had the same design since 1998. Can you tell?

When not discussing web stuff, Peter sticks to his three great loves; beer, movies, and beer in movies. Which is why he escapes the "Jocks" category. Now, if he only spoke about himself and had a head shot on site... wait a sec... this may need to be rethought...

BLOAT!

Sally Tenpenny used to write BLOAT!, but it has since been taken over by T. Radhius. When Sally wrote it, it was a cutting piece of commentary about the state of the weblogging nation that left nothing but blood before her razor-sharp wit. With Radhius behind the wheel, BLOAT! has become a "column" about weblogs. Oh yay.

BLOAT! still hangs on as a Big Man On Campus, but as it's usefulness increases, it's popularity will shrink. Who cares if it gives insightful views into the strengths and weakness of the best and worst of weblogs? You want bitchy comments and sarcastic remarks wrapped up in offensive language, or you want nothing at all, right!?!

one swell foop

After all is said and done, it is well understood that Wendell Wittler is the true Big Man On Campus. Though you may deny it; nay, fear it; Wendell Wittler has the weblog community in the palm of his sticky-fingered hand. For neither power, fame nor fortune can stand in the way of someone willing to produce something like scamworld. Wendell is the puppet master.

It may turn out that Wendell and Cameron are twins, rather than that guy... um... you know... watshisname. Cameron is the symbol of ultimate good; Wendell of ultimate evil. The only thing that normal people can do about this is sit back, munch on some popcorn, and wait for the end battle sequence to begin.