please take me back to school, scott

The nerds of the geek world are sorry, sorry creatures indeed. The weblogging geek nerds are even sorrier. Small, timid creatures suffering from square eye and desk-jockey's curse, they often attempt street cred by including "hack" or "meta" in the name of their blogs.
It doesn't work.
Permanantely tuned into Slashdot, CNet and Wired, they're...

hack the planet

Wesley Felter is classic geek nerd. Computer Science degree, interest in operating system, overuse of the words "open source" and "linux". And though there is no proof, it is believed he also owns a skateboard and a camoflagued laptop.

Between the hours he battles the evil that is Fisher Stevens, he resides at hack the planet, a minimilist weblog that represents geek nerd perfectly, right down to the blue links. When fighting evil, he enters every combat situation reciting his mantra, the Hack the Planet Manifesto.


John Anderson is the man who coined the phrase "The 3' to 5' degradation of yeast mRNAs is a general mechanism for turnover that requires the SKI2 DEVH box protein and 3' to 5' exonucleases of the exosome complex.". Which says it all, really.

When not boring the hell out of his collegues at the Department of Molecular and Cellular Biology at the University of Arizona, he bores the hell out of people on his weblog. Just how boring can he be? Just take a look at his wishlist on Amazon. Though there is potential there; leatherman, cats, gimp. Is there something John's not giving away?


Dinah Sanders is a woman trapped in the sordid world of programming. And loving it. With the classic geek nerd design in full swing, Dinah makes her readers dazed and confused by employing red links, showing off the grrrrrrl the dwells within.

Dinah's other distraction is Inkspot Books, an online bookstore that died and then was revived. Dinah made a pact with the devil to resurrect it, selling her soul in the process. But she doesn't care, because she knows she can just as easily pick up a new one on eBay.


You could easily argue the best thing about metascene is the way it automatically closes the Tripod popup box. And you'd be right, of course. Another geek nerd site with a geek nerd design. Which means when Fred Pyen moves domain his one cool feature will be gone. Unless he includes a popup box that automatically closes itself down on the new site as well.

Fred Pyen's other great passion is Charles Bukowski. Afterall, they're so similiar. Charles Bukowski is a combination of Edward Dahlberg, Henry Miller and Jack Kerouac, while Fred Pyen is classic geek nerd. Jesus, they could be twins.


John Mulligan is responsible for keeping two ideas alive: the yellow-on-black Web site design, and the memepool karma idea. John wrote every piece of code on metajohn himself, which is explains the yellow on black design. He's such a k00l h@k@.

You had better not mess with John's karma system. For John has mysterious powers over the forces of nature, and if you fuck with him, you can bet your sweet arse he'll fuck with you. Remember that, as the irresistable urge to click that karma button twice niggles your trigger finger. You have been warned.


The fasthack tagline is "we hack fast". Which makes little sense. There's only one fasthacker, Nelson Tai, and there are no hacks, fast or otherwise. So the tagline should probably read "I don't hack", and the site name should be "nohack". But that wouldn't be nearly as geek chic.

Judging by Nelson's portrait, he hasn't moved from computer screen for about four months, which was when the leporasy set in. His latest challenge should be to hack himself a new nose. In ASCII.